Monday, November 1, 2010

Sometimes I feel like I’m invisible.

People disregard me. They don’t hear me and forget I ever said anything. They even ignore me outright. It’s frightening sometimes how obvious it is that no one remembered I was there at all. Strangers stare at me because of the way that I dress, but then forget my existence entirely. Friends tell stories to me about things they did with other people, and then are surprised when I tell them that I know what happened because I was there.

Why should I believe that anyone else would care about it, if he supposedly cares about me but doesn’t care about how I’m feeling?

Hmm. Anyway. I was just feeling a little sad tonight, which is why I’m writing this now.

I guess I just wish I knew someone I could really talk to, who wouldn’t disregard me and with whom I actually felt comfortable talking about this sort of thing. And other things. Things I can’t tell anyone because they probably wouldn’t believe me, because I’ve supposedly led a charmed life and have nothing to complain about and why would I have left it until now to say anything anyway? And besides, I have led a good life so far. Besides those things I can’t talk to anyone about. So I guess I really can’t complain.
I’m going to stop now. It’s close to 9:30 and I should try and go to sleep early....hahahah YEAH RIGHT!!!!  Sleep is good for me....IT JUST NOT EASY FOR ME TO FALL ASLEEP  ;) And I’m sorry for inflicting this on you all. I’ll try to stay out of the Kool-aid for now on.

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